If you are
serious about wanting to meet someone, online dating could
be a wonderful way to check out lots of prospects in a
short period of time. You can weed out certain things
you don’t want and look specifically for things you do
want. It can be an easy way to find the person of your
dreams. But, you do have to be careful and take a few
precautions.
Be Honest
Don’t pretend to be something you are not because you
think that will bring more opportunity. It’s a waste
of time. Deception is not a good way to start things
off. Eventually you will be found out. Chances are the
other person will not be happy. There are people out
there who will like you just the way you are. It’s best
to wait for one of them.
Avoid Form Letters
Some people send the same letter to all prospects to
save time. The problem with this is that it feels like
a form letter. There is nothing personal in it to connect
to the other person. It feels like the conveyor belt
approach of, “Let me try this one… then this one.” It’s
a big turn off. It may be more work to write a personal
note to each prospect, but it’s worth it.
Take It Easy
There will be people out there who are not honest with
you. The best way to guard against being taken advantage
of by one of them is to take it easy. Email back and
forth a few times through the online dating service
email and hide your real email address. Ask a lot of
questions and pay attention to the answers. Are they
consistent with the profile? Does anything feel weird?
Trust your gut. You don’t have to have “proof” that
something is odd before walking away.
Remain Anonymous
I just talked about not using your real email address,
but being anonymous is more than that. Don’t give out
your last name, home address, workplace information,
or phone number until you are sure that the person you
are talking to is someone you can trust. It’s a lot
easier to guard against an annoying contact than to
get rid of one later. If the person is a good guy, he
will understand and respect you for this. If he’s pressuring
you to reveal personal information, walk away now!
Ask to See Lots of Pictures
There are a few reasons for this. First, most people
can take one good glamour shot. You don’t want to base
your feelings on a best case scenario. When you see
many pictures, it gives a more realistic view of what
the person truly looks like. Second, having a visual
image in your mind can help you get an intuitive feel
for the person. Third, some scam artists use someone
else’s picture or pictures of themselves ten years ago.
By requesting and getting many photos, you can feel
more assured that the person you are talking to is indeed
the person in the picture.
Talk on the Phone Before Meeting
Attraction is a multidimensional thing. With online
dating, you start with the written word and a photo.
When you add the voice, you have an even greater sense
of who the person on the other end is. It fleshes out
the picture, which can confirm good feeling or create
more questions. Remember to exercise caution. Consider
using a cell phone, blocking caller ID, or calling from
a public phone.
Meet in a Public Place
If you decide to meet, do it during daylight hours,
in a public place with many other people around, and
provide your own transportation to and from the meeting
place. Tell someone where you are going and who you
will be with. Go someplace familiar so that you don’t
get lost, but don’t go to one of your regular hang outs.
While most people are really interested in finding someone
to connect with, there are people with other ideas.
Be safe. Use common sense. It’s better to be cautious
and safe than to be a victim.
Make Your Own Travel Arrangements
If you are traveling to meet someone, follow the same
common sense advice you would when dating in your own
town. Make your own travel arrangements. Do not reveal
your hotel location or flight plans. Do not allow your
date to pick you up at the hotel or airport. Carry a
cell phone with you at all times. If time allows, acquaint
yourself with the meeting location beforehand. If something
feels not right, leave. Don’t worry about being hurting
someone’s feelings or feeling foolish. Trust your instinct
and leave.
Watch for Warning Signs
If something seems too good to be true, it probably
is. If you can’t tell, ask a trusted friend or family
member for advice. Specific things to watch for:
• gives you conflicting information about job, family,
childhood, past relationships, personal history, etc.
• doesn’t want to introduce you to friends, family,
or co-workers
• doesn’t accept calls at home
• seems really different in person than online
• tries to rush intimacy or displays physically inappropriate
behavior
• pressures you (either overtly or subtly) to change
the way you look or behave
• flashes of anger or controlling behavior
There are realistic hazards to dating online and offline.
By using a bit of common sense, you enhance your odds
of meeting the right person safely. Happy dating!
reprint permission from ideamarketers.com.
